Secret Retreat

My Bump

2011-07-10T16:17:00.001+08:00

Showing off my bump, which looks kind of small from this angle. :)

Signs of Labor

2011-07-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

It’s my first time to be give birth and I don’t have my mom and sister with me now. While waiting for the arrival of my little Ava, I’ve come across a few articles on labor and when it begins. I hope this helps!

Six Signs that Labor is Within a Few Weeks or Days:

1. Lightening: You can breathe again! This is an indication that the baby has dropped, settling deeper into your pelvis and relieving some of the pressure on your diaphragm, so you are not so short of breath. You may feel increased pressure on your bladder, which means more trips to the bathroom. Others may comment on your changed appearance, although you might not be aware of it at all.

2. Bloody show: Loss of mucus plug. During pregnancy, a thick plug of mucus protects your cervical opening from bacteria entering the uterus. When your cervix begins to thin and relax, this plug is expelled. Some women think the plug will look solid like a cork, but it is actually stringy mucus or discharge. It can be clear, pink or blood tinged and can appear minutes, hours or even days before labor begins. Not all women notice this sign.

3. Rupture of membranes: Your water breaks! Only 1 in 10 woman experience a dramatic gush of the amniotic fluid and even then it usually happens at home, often in bed. Sometimes the amniotic sac breaks or leaks before labor begins. Your uterus is sitting directly on top of your bladder, which can cause you to leak urine. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to distinguish urine from amniotic fluid.

If your membranes have ruptured and you are leaking amniotic fluid, it will be an odorless fluid. This can occur with a sudden gush or a constant trickle. If you notice fluid leaking, you need to try to determine if it smells like urine or if it is odorless. If it does not seem to be urine, you would want to contact your health care provider.

Until you see your physician or midwife do not use tampons, have sexual intercourse or do anything that would introduce bacteria to your vagina. Let your health care provider know if the fluid is anything other than clear and odorless, particularly if it's green or foul smelling, because this could be a sign of infection.

4. Nesting: Spurt of energy. For most of your pregnancy you have probably been fighting the urge to take a nap, so you'll know when you experience this. One day you will wake up feeling full of energy! You'll start making a long list of things to do, things to clean, things to buy and everything you've put off doing will become a high priority. In all your preparations, don't forget that “Labor Day” may be just around the corner so save some energy.

5. Effacement: Thinning of the cervix. Usually in the last month the cervix begins to stretch and thin. This process means the lower segment of the uterus is getting ready for delivery. A thin cervix will also allow the cervix to dilate more easily.

Your health care provider may check for effacement in the final 2 months of pregnancy. Effacement is measured in percentages. You may hear your health care provider say,“You are 25% effaced, 50% effaced, 75%...” The Braxton Hicks contractions or “practice contractions” you have been experiencing may play a part in the effacement process. You will not be able to determine your effacement process, this can only be done by a health care provider's exam.

6. Dilation: Opening of the cervix. Dilation is the process of the cervix opening in preparation for childbirth. Dilation is measured in centimeters or, less accurately, in “fingers” during an internal (manual) pelvic exam. “Fully dilated” means you're at 10 centimeters and are ready to give birth. In the same way that your health care provider may be checking for effacement in the last 2 months, your health care provider may also tell you how many centimeters your cervix has dilated.

One SURE Sign Labor is Really Happening:

Consistent Contractions: When you begin to experience regular uterine contractions, this is the strongest indication that you are in labor. This is a good time to get out your notebook to record the exact time each one begins and how long they last. These contractions may feel like menstrual cramps or a lower backache that comes and goes, and during early labor they may be as far apart as 20 to 30 minutes. Over the course of several hours your contractions will typically begin occurring at shorter intervals; and you may notice they start happening every 10-15 minutes or less. When your contractions are consistently 5 minutes apart, it is time to call your health care provider.

Labor Contractions Have the Following Characteristics:

They are regular
They follow a predictable pattern (such as every eight minutes)
They become progressively closer
They last progressively longer
They become progressively stronger
Each contraction is felt first in the lower back and then radiates around to the front or visa versa
A change in activity or position will not slow down or stop contractions
There may be bloody show
Membranes may rupture
Your health care provider will notice cervical changes, such as effacement (thinning), or dilation

Source: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/labornbirth/signsoflabor.html

A special moment with you safely growing inside of me…

2011-07-06T17:54:00.001+08:00

At 36 weeks and 2 days. Waiting for my little Ava.

Goodbye Facebook

2011-06-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

I deleted my facebook account. Good riddance!

I need peace and quiet this time. Facebook has been too loud for me. It's been eating me and manipulating me. Most bad things come to me throught it. Bad news, crazy news, heartbreaking discoveries. It's consuming my sanity. I need to get off this paranoia state and live in peace.

A Prayer to St. Gerard for Safe Delivery

2011-04-29T20:20:00.004+08:00

O great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted child of Mother of God, enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love.

O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine Master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the patron and protector of expectant mothers. Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the purifying and life-giving waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.

2011-04-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

If ever you have to choose...

2011-04-14T16:14:00.000+08:00

If ever you have to choose between our child's life or mine, I beg you to please choose our child's life. Our child is my reason for being. I have fulfilled my purpose in life when I've given birth to our child, despite what it may cost me. I am replaceable, our child is not. Our baby's the best gift I can ever give you, more than my love.

M.V.J.

Placenta Praevia

2011-04-14T15:59:00.001+08:00

What is placenta praevia?

Placenta praevia means placenta first.
In a normal pregnancy the placenta is in the upper part of your uterus. With placenta praevia, however, the placenta is in the lower part of your uterus, often between your baby and your cervix (the neck of the uterus).
During the last 3 months of pregnancy, the lower part of your uterus becomes thinner and stretches around the growing baby. This can cause a low placenta to tear or pull away from the uterus. This results in bleeding (your blood, not the baby’s).

How common and how serious is placenta praevia?

Early in pregnancy a low lying placenta is common, but later in pregnancy placenta praevia occurs in about 1 in every 200 pregnancies, although it is less common in first pregnancies.
There are different degrees of the condition:

Grade 1 (minor) is when the placenta is mainly in the upper part of the uterus, but some of it extends into the lower part – the most common type.
Grade 2 (marginal) is when the placenta reaches the cervix, but doesn’t cover it.
Grade 3 (major) is when the placenta partially covers the cervix.
Grade 4 (major) is when the placenta completely covers the cervix. This is the most serious type of placenta praevia.

What causes placenta praevia?

Placenta praevia happens when the fertilised egg implants in the lower part of your uterus (womb). The placenta may develop lower than it should because:

There is a large area of placenta (if you are carrying twins, for example)
You may have scarring on the lining of your uterus, caused by a previous Caesarean or curettage
Often there is no obvious cause.

How will you know if you have placenta praevia?

Placenta praevia is usually picked up on ultrasound. Most pregnant women have an ultrasound scan between 18 and 20 weeks, and if this shows a low-lying placenta, another scan will be performed at about 32 weeks to see if the placenta is still low. Only 2 – 5% of women who had a low-lying placenta on their first scan will have placenta praevia that is severe enough to need Caesarean delivery.
If you have any bleeding during pregnancy, you will probably have an ultrasound scan to find out if you have placenta praevia. Bleeding doesn’t always mean you have placenta praevia. Bleeding can be caused by a bleed behind a normally positioned placenta, the bleeding may be coming from your cervix, or there may be no obvious cause at all for the bleeding.

What happens if you have placenta praevia?

If you have placenta praevia you will probably bleed at some stage of your pregnancy. This usually happens after 28 weeks when the lower part of your uterus is thinner and stretched. The bleeding may be small or large in amount, and is usually painless. However, even a small amount of bleeding needs to be checked out by your doctor.
There is nothing that can be done to change the position of your placenta, so placenta praevia is managed by trying to reduce your chance of bleeding. The aim of this is to allow your baby to grow to a size and age that will give your baby the best chance of survival.
If you have a minor grade of placenta praevia, and the bleeding has stopped, you may be able to go home. However, you will need to be close to the hospital, and have access to immediate transport. You will also need to avoid sex.
If yours is a more serious case, you may have to stay in hospital until delivery because of the risk of heavy bleeding.

What happens in hospital?

If you have had a large bleed

You may need an intravenous drip.
Your baby’s heartbeat will be listened to regularly.
You will have blood taken to check your haemoglobin and blood group. Donor blood will be kept available in case you continue to bleed and need a transfusion. You will have blood taken each week so that an exact match is always ready.
If you have Rh negative blood group you will be given an anti-D injection (have a look at the topic 'Routine antenatal tests' for more information about Rh negative blood group and anti-D injections).
If your blood test shows that you are anaemic, your doctor may prescribe iron tablets.

If you are less than 34 weeks pregnant, you may be given injections of a steroid called Celestone. This helps to mature your baby’s lungs in case you have an early delivery.
Just because you are in hospital doesn’t mean you need to stay in bed. Once the bleeding has settled you will be able to wander around the hospital and grounds as long as you tell the staff where you are going.
Being in hospital will not prevent you from bleeding. It means that if you have a large bleed your baby can be delivered as quickly and safely as possible.

Is a Caesarean always necessary?

Most women with Placenta Praevia will have a Caesarean section. Contractions may cause heavy bleeding as the placenta separates from your uterus. The placenta also prevents your baby’s head from becoming engaged in your pelvis.
If you have a grade 1 or 2 Placenta Praevia, a vaginal delivery may sometimes be possible. However, with grades 3 and 4, a Caesarean section is necessary. The Caesarean section will be planned for a time when the baby is mature, usually at about 38 weeks, hopefully before you go into labour.
If you have a Caesarean section an anaesthetist will talk with you about the best anaesthetic to have – you may need a general anaesthetic.

Is placenta praevia dangerous?

Placenta praevia is potentially life threatening. You may not bleed at all during your pregnancy, but it is possible for you to have a large haemorrhage at any time. You could lose your entire volume of blood in 10 minutes. This is why you need to stay in hospital close to emergency facilities.
Your doctor or midwife can provide you with more information about placenta praevia. Please talk to them if there is anything that you don't understand about your condition, or if you have any concerns.

The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see your doctor or midwife.

source: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=438&np=462&id=2785

In your journey, you will see the light…

2011-04-01T14:19:00.001+08:00

Aching for a Sewing Machine

2011-03-31T13:50:00.000+08:00

As days go by, my demand for customizing my own clothes have been bugging me and I feel like I want to give in. All day, I’m thinking about designs of a new dress, or baby stuff, or curtain and pillowcase details. I want to sew my own stuff and materialize my own designs.

I found these home sewing machines quite nice:

1. Brother BM-2600 Entry Level Sewing Machine that handles all kinds of fabrics

“Featuring a stitch selection dial with specialised stretch, decorative stitches, and stitch width and length adjustment dial, the BM-2600 is a delightful entry-level sewing machine to work with. It can handle all kinds of fabrics with its needle threader and large bobbin capacity.”

2. Brother LS-2160 Lightweight Sewing Machine with Twin Needle

“All the basic features you'll need are packed in this lightweight model -- automatic buttonhole, decorative, twin needle and more. The LS2160 is perfect for basic sewing and mending.”

So now I’m surfing the net for these and found out I couldn’t purchase any of them locally. I found a BM-2600 on the ebay but the seller doesn’t do postage/shipping. What should I do now???

See the Brother website for these items.

Fragile Heart

2011-03-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

Trial Sketch #001

2011-03-27T23:05:00.001+08:00

A list of things I want to do

2011-03-26T19:45:00.000+08:00

20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.

2011-03-25T13:13:00.000+08:00

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In-Box."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their
Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,Yelling
"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......

Share this with Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called therapy"

The greatest battles of life are fought daily in the silent chambers of the soul.

2011-03-25T13:04:00.003+08:00

What Really Matters

2011-03-25T12:47:00.002+08:00

""..in the End, all that really matters isn't the things you did, but what its effects are today, not the knowledge you have learned, but how you applied it, not the words that were said, but how they made you feel, and most of all, not the moment of occurrence, but how its now just a part of our memory.. Everyday, we make memories.. Let's paint lives with happy ones..""

-Unknown

Sweetest Miracle

2011-03-25T12:20:00.005+08:00

A wee bit of heaven

drifted down from above -

A handful of happiness,

a heartful of love.

The mystery of life,

so sacred and sweet -

The giver of joy

so deep and complete.

Precious and priceless,

so lovable, too -

The world's sweetest miracle,

baby, is you.

I wish you know me that well

2011-03-23T16:11:00.002+08:00

I wish you know me that well...

So that you can see who I really am and not who you think that I am...

I wish you know me that well...

Know that I am strong... I have an adult's mind but a child's feelings...

I wish you know me that well...

So that you'll know I want to be hurt by the truth rather than be comforted by lies.

I wish you know me that well...

So that you'll realize that I love you enough to hold on if you're happy with me

or let go if you're not.

XXX

The Secret

2011-03-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

“And now I have to confess the unpardonable and the scandalous. I am a happy man. And I am going to tell you the secret of my happiness. It is quite simple. I love mankind. I love love. I hate hate. I try to understand and accept.” ~ Jean Cocteau

As if there’s no tomorrow

2011-03-23T13:01:00.002+08:00

Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be struck blind: Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, as if you would be struck deaf. Touch each object as if tomorrow your sense of touch would fail, smell flowers, taste with relish each morsel as if tomorrow you could never smell or taste again.

Be grateful for what you have.

Fate and Choices

2011-03-23T12:55:00.003+08:00

There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction. I can decide how to spend my time, whom, I interact with, whom I share my life and energy with. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life – whether I see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of my voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.

Never allow yourself to be treated as nothing

2011-03-23T10:55:00.000+08:00

Never allow yourself to be treated as nothing by another person whom you value so much. If there’s no sense in waiting, then move on. If you feel your not valued by that person like you do, then let go. That’s life, its about making wise decisions not about making yourself a foolish one.

Things I want to do!!!

2011-03-22T10:46:00.000+08:00

So little time but there's so much I want to do!!!

I want to...

1. Take photographs

2. Blog

3. Design Clothes and Jewelry

4. Sew clothes

5. Create jewelry pieces

6. Shop for baby's stuff

7. Create an interior design for our home

8. Shop for furnitures

9. Shop for house decors

10. Create a mini-garden on our terrace

All these I want to do now, but I have a career to take care of. I'm so busy at the office that the creative part of my brain's been sucked up dry by the corporate world. Sos!

Taking Healthy Options as a Mom-To-Be

2011-03-22T09:29:00.001+08:00

My recent trip to the mall did not end in vain. I found my way to a Healthy Options store in search of nuts, granola bars and healthy snacks pregnant women ought to eat. Lately, I've been feeling guilty eating a lot of salted adobo nuts, flavored popcorn and yummy junk food. As calories, sodium and cholesterol pile up in unknown numbers, my guilt has been piling up too.

I found Mommy Bars and Blueberry Granola Bars interesting. Plus, I took a little trip to the body care department and found Chamomile Deo Body Spray and Jason Cocoa Butter Lotion for my growing bump. I'm totally conscious over stretch marks and I feel like my skin really needs a lot of healthy moisture, rather than chemical-made moisturizers.

Total cost for the 4 items: P1300.00.

How much will childbirth hurt?

2011-03-20T19:35:00.004+08:00

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"

Pregnancy Joke
*Source: http://www.breastfeeding.com/lighter_side/lighter_side_prego_jokes.html

20 Weeks Preggers

2011-03-20T18:39:00.003+08:00

I'm glad we've made it halfway through the pregnancy, all safe and normal. My bump's getting bigger and more noticeable, and I can feel baby moving already! Right now I felt baby kick, but it feels more like a tickle from small cute hands. This afternoon, while lying down to rest, I was thinking how my baby would look like and will he/she always be smiling and laughing? When he/she cries, can I calm him/her down and stop her tears from falling? Will he/she know I'm his/her mother with just a touch? Will he/she want to stay in my arms all the time? Will he/she need me as I need him/her? I am so excited to touch and feel my baby, to see and kiss him/her. I just couldn't wait! :) My baby = Happiness!:)

Some more great words on Love

2011-03-17T19:49:00.004+08:00

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

- Captain Corelli's Mandolin

Share it everyday...

2011-03-02T18:02:00.003+08:00

The greatest disease in the world isn't medical. It's being unwanted, unloved & uncared for. We can cure physical diseases but the only cure for despair is love. There are those who are dying for a piece of bread but many more are dying for a piece of love. Share it everyday. ♥ -Grey's Anatomy

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

2011-02-09T14:50:00.001+08:00

ROSE by LittleFair

This Valentine’s Day, prepare to endure more PDA than usual!

2011-02-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

Valentine’s Day cards from http://www.someecards.com/

Baby at Week 15: Navel Orange

2011-02-07T14:00:00.001+08:00

Continuing the march towards normal proportions, baby's legs now outmeasure the arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably still can't feel the movements.

Cravings: Dreaming of food...

2011-02-06T19:33:00.005+08:00

Singkamas (Turnip)

I love every juicy bite of singkamas strips, especially if its dipped in a mixture of vinegar, soy sauce and sea salt. It makes my mouth water and it satisfies my demanding stomach.

Status: Done. Weekly Doses.

Green Mango

The most common food every pregnant Filipina craves for. Or if you've been caught craving for this one, people might actually suspect you are preggers. I love eating green mango with sauted shrimp paste!

Status: Done.Weekly Doses.

Cucumber Salad

This is one of my first few cravings. I love it with vinegar and salt. Ummmm....

Status: Done. Satisfied!

Sushi and Sashimi

One of my all-time faves... Sushi and Sashimi. I like the fish raw. It tastes sweeter. I've tried raw tuna, raw salmon, raw eel, raw squid, raw octopus, raw salmon roe, and a lot more. I like the salmon with avocado, onion and mayo sushi. I like Ebi sushi the most, with some pickled ginger and wasabe + soy sauce. Sushi is never sushi without the wasabe. ;)

Status: Prohibited. I need to wait after delivery...

Chilli Crabs

Just looking at the pictures makes me want to eat it NOW. I miss the Chilli Crabs from Singapore... especially the one from Jumbo Seafood Restaurant. The big crabs, with a lot of succulent meat, all spiced up with sweet and savoury tomato and chilli sauce.

Status: Pending. Still searching where I find good ones here in Cebu.

Butter Crabs

Just when you think chilli crabs are the best, wait till you've tried butter crabs. It's creamy and full of flavour, with a distinct spicy taste. It's served with Mantou or buns which make it easier to scrape the creamy sauce. This is one of the yummiest food I've eaten so far.

Status: Pending. Doubtful if there's a resto in Cebu serving this dish.

Long, Short, Thin, Thick, Dark, Fair

2011-02-05T18:50:00.001+08:00

Whatever the length, the thickness, or the color, it always is the crowning glory of a woman. Ze hair.

Week 14: Stress, Ultrasound and a lot of Bed rest

2011-02-04T13:12:00.001+08:00

Monday was a really busy day at work. I finished some work on instrument hook-up drawings, which was delayed due to my 3-day absence last week. In the afternoon, I had to wrap-up my work on Project 2 because my boss from Project 1 wanted to talk to me at 3pm. It was break time. I didn’t respond immediately… I was supposed to get a cracker or some solid food but ended up taking a cereal drink instead. I called him after break, got some instructions, then another boss called, and I called the first boss again and then the second boss.. it was a phone-fest with the bosses at JP and SG. Then I got a very terrible headache that kept my heart pounding like it’s shaking my entire body. Hello, stress.

When I got home, I was still having that bad headache. I found out I was spotting and it felt scary. It was my first time to experience that during my entire pregnancy. That moment, I decided to take a day off from work and visit my doctor, Dr. M.

A visit to Dr. M. She got some samples to be checked on the lab. She also found a polyp which she removed and we submitted it to the lab for biopsy. It could have caused the bleeding but she said we may need an ultrasound to check if something inside my tummy has caused me to bleed. We’ll also check baby’s vital signs. That’s a good idea! I wanted to see how baby’s doing now.

Through the sonogram scan, my doctor found out I was having a low-lying placenta. But it has a big chance of moving upwards in the next few weeks/months. I just hope so. I wouldn’t want my placenta blocking my baby’s way out. Nooo way. Dr, M told me this could also one of the reasons why I’m spotting. So she advised me to take a bed rest for 7 days. I like the idea. :)

Despite the placenta’s placement, my baby’s in perfect condition. Good fetal heart rate of 162 bpm. At 88 grams, baby’s just the right size for his/her age. Vitals are good. I’m reassured. :) I saw my baby moving, swimming, waving, and kicking and it fills my heart with so much joy and amazement! I Love You Baby. <3

Baby at Week 14: Lemon

2011-01-31T14:03:00.000+08:00

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Baby at Week 13: Peach

2011-01-24T14:07:00.000+08:00

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

Week 7: My baby’s first picture

2010-12-18T19:54:00.001+08:00

At 7 weeks and 5 days, my little one is still an embryo. His/her heart rate beats as fast as 165 bpm, a normal rate for babies his/her age. Gender is still unknown, so I have to wait until baby reaches 20 weeks.

Week 6: First pre-natal visit

2010-12-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

Disappointing.

I was expecting a cheerful and enthusiastic doctor to congratulate us for having successfully created a miracle of life. Nah. Dr. Q just asked for my LMP (Last Menstrual Period) and informed us when the baby is due. Asked me to have some lab tests, and gave me prescription for my vitamins. She said I was going to give birth on the last week of July.

Boring. No connection.

I didn’t feel comfortable with the doctor and I could not envision myself to be under Dr. Q’s knife. So, I’m thinking of going to another doctor soon.

Weeks 1-4: Innocent of what’s happening inside my body until…Week 5.

2010-12-01T20:25:00.000+08:00

Week 1: Week where last AF started.

Week 2: DTD. OV.

Week 3: Some signs showing up but I didn’t really mind because they also felt like signs of AF coming. Tender and heavy BBs.

Week 4: I bought a lot of pads because I felt like AF was coming, big time.

Week 5: Some signs of AF coming, but I’m a bit bothered why it’s delayed…thought I was sick or something’s wrong with my system. When I told my friend about it, she told me to by a HPT. She bought one for me… we tested and it was a big fat POSITIVE.

My eyes were fixed on the test pack from the time I dropped pee samples until the lines became red. Two red lines… and my future flashed so fast in my mind, I could see where my life was going now. I found direction. I found hope, a sparkle of light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to be a mommy!

TRAVEL

2010-11-30T17:28:00.000+08:00

Places I’ve been to:

PHILIPPINES

Bacolod City
Victorias City
Davao City
Tagum City
Digos City
General Santos City
Cagayan de Oro City
Cebu City
Iloilo City
Manila
Laguna
Quezon
Kalibo, Aklan

JAPAN

Tokyo
Chiba
Nikko
Hakone
Fujiyama

SINGAPORE

Singapore Mainland
Jurong Island

INDONESIA

Batam

Cancer: Looking Deep into my Sign

2010-11-09T23:08:00.001+08:00

Now here’s a nice article about the common traits of people born under the Cancer Sign (June 22 to July 22). All underlined words are, for the most part, my traits as I see it…

Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic

On the dark side....
Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go

More about Cancerians…

The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac. It can range from the timid, dull, shy and withdrawn to the most brilliant, and famous Cancerians are to be found through the whole range of human activity. It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family. `Nest like' is an appropriate adjective for the Cancerian home, for its inhabitants tend to favor the dark, mysterious but comfortable type of house which has something of the air of a den about it, a place which belongs to the family rather than existing as a showcase to impress visitors.

That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love. They are able to identify with the situations of others because of the keenness of their imaginations. They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal. They are appreciative of art and literature, and especially of drama, where the spectacle and ebb and flow of action and feeling particularly excite them. They may themselves possess considerable literary, artistic or oratorical talent. Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact. Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average. If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism. A job in which they can express this, and in which they can do well, would be as a leader in a youth organization.

In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector. Both the

Cancerian man and woman love unreservedly, giving much and asking little in return - in fact, one of the most important lessons they have to learn is how to receive gracefully. They are too easily influenced by those they love and admire, and swayed by the emotion of the moment. They are also loyal friends, the negative side of their faithfulness being clannishness, the narrow patriotism of "my country right or wrong"; and closing ranks in suspicion and coldness toward outsiders.

Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.

The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered. They can be tactless and difficult yet, because they are normally ambitious, they will carry favor by floating with majority opinions, outlooks and fashions of the day. As a result they often change their opinions and loyalties and, indeed, their occupations, and lack stability. They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters. Their romanticism in another sense make them ardent supporters of causes, for example a football team with whose heroes they can identify in a world of fantasy.

Their abilities fit the Cancerian for a wide range of occupations. As they are interested in what people are thinking and able to judge what they can safely be told, they can be good journalists, writers or politicians, though in this last capacity they are more likely to remain in the background rather than attain prominent positions of power. They may, indeed, change their party affiliations. They can serve in other departments of public affairs, especially those which involve looking after others, for example in any kind of service from welfare and nursing to catering - their own love of comfort and good living makes the Cancerian an excellent chef or housekeeper. They sometimes have a penchant for trade or business and are often successful as a captain of industry. This is because they are excellent organizers with a good sense of value and economy which they may combine with a flair for inventiveness and originality. The romantic side of their natures make them enjoy grubbing about in places where exciting discoveries may be made (old stamp collections in attics, etc.), and if they can do this professionally as a secondhand dealer or specialist in antiques, they will be happy. More common occupations which suit some subjects of Cancer are real estate broker, gardener and sailor.

Physically they are average to below average in height, with a fleshy body and short legs in comparison with the rest of them. Their hair is usually brown, their faces round, their complexions pale, their foreheads prominent, their eyes small and blue or gray in color, their noses short, perhaps upturned, and their mouths full. They sometimes walk clumsily.

Source: http://www.astrology-online.com/cancer.htm

Red hot chili peppers - Soul to Squeeze

2010-11-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

well ive got a bad disease.. up from my brain is where i bleed..

Please take my heart...

2010-11-04T21:25:00.002+08:00

Feeling emo these days...

Kiss the Rain

2010-10-30T14:41:00.003+08:00

It's so easy to make up your mind

but the hardest thing is convincing your heart.

...

Animefication

2010-10-30T09:19:00.001+08:00

It’s not even in the standard dictionary. I just thought about this word. Animefication. For me, it means transforming oneself into an anime character - thanks to Photoshop!

The Urban Dictionary defines animefied as something that has been changed to reveal its anime form. I think it’s close to what I was thinking.

Konan

Konan is a female character in the anime, Naruto. She hails from the Rain Village and was a member of Akatsuki. Her main ability is Paper Ninjutsu.

Me as Konan…

Into the Wild

2010-10-25T01:25:00.001+08:00

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;

There is a rapture on the lonely shore;

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar;

I love not man the less, but Nature more...

- Lord Byron

* * *
I think this movie is about an adventure of a lonely, troubled heart, seeking to be free.
Here are some quotes i like from the movie Into the Wild:
* * *

"Two years he walks the earth. No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, 'cause "the West is the best." And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild. - Alexander Supertramp May 1992 "

"I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong."

"I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."

"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed."

"The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences."

"The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head."

"What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?"

"When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it."

"Happiness only real when shared. "

Franz: I'm going to miss you when you go.
Supertramp: I will miss you too, but you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God's place is all around us, it is in everything and in anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things.
Franz: Yeah. I am going to take stock of that. You know I am. I want to tell you something. From bits and pieces of what you have told me about your family, your mother and your dad... And I know you have problems with the church too... But there is some kind of bigger thing that we can all appreciate and it sounds to me you don't mind calling it God. But when you forgive, you love. And when you love, God's light shines through you.
Supertramp:: Holy shit!

You Are Worth It

2010-10-09T16:23:00.001+08:00

One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God.

You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.

Every day, God gives us the sun – and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven’t perceived the moment, that it doesn’t exist – that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention in their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seems the same to us. But that moment exists – a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

I could have. What does this phrase mean? At any given moment in our lives, there are certain things that could have happened but didn’t. The magic moments go unrecognized, and then suddenly, the hand of destiny changes everything.

But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.

Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.

I’m going to fight for your love. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end. You are worth it.

Source: Paulo Coelho’s Blog entitled “By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept…”

Cherry Blossoms Scatter In The Darkness

2010-09-25T11:33:00.001+08:00

This is a tale of my escape from agony
Around the time when the cherry blossoms fall
I silence my voice, and await the end
Nobody looks at me
I shut them all out, I rejected them.
The letter I couldn't write,
Blurred with the "from now on" I saw in my dreams
Only the darkness showed me kindness, pain, shut my eyes
I crouch down in the scenery around me, unable to find a color to blend into
In hopes that at least I could disappear into the dark of night...
I hung myself.
The bell signaling the curtain call sounds,
Awakens me from my fading dream
Goodbye my love, the spring breeze blew me back and forth.
When the cherry blossoms softly weep.

-“Yami Ni Chiru Sakura” by Alice Nine

If someone wants to be a part of your life…

2010-08-08T12:10:00.001+08:00

Comically Serious

2010-08-07T21:04:00.001+08:00

Comically serious, poetically sound, living life like it's real but in a romantically lyrically way. Anything else is all circumstantial. Life is full of obstacle illusions.

Giving and Receiving

2010-07-28T14:06:00.001+08:00

It's okay to receive. Have you been the giver for so long that you have forgotten how to receive? Allow others to give you some of the love that you give so freely. Seek a balance between your giving and your receiving.

HISTRIONICS Lyrics

2010-07-16T14:47:00.001+08:00

HISTRIONICS

By POPSICLE

When I knew you, I used to think you were
constant standing high above my ground.
When you laughed at me, I wasn't ready
for even reach forever further down.

Don't look at me that way just close your eyes,
be the one I'm seeing I can't make it on my own,
I'm not alone and if you go away you-ho.

Leave me lucky leave me lane,
this time will always stay the same
I'm still a fool above your flame.
Leave me lucky leave me,
Leave me lucky leave me lane.

When I call you, it's not a way to start
remembering november as before.
When I see you, I'm not supposed to get
personal persistent or adoring

Don't look at me that way just close your eyes,
be the one I'm seeing I can't make it on my own,
I'm not alone and if you go away you-ho.

Leave me lucky leave me lane,
this time will always stay the same
I'm still a fool above your flame.
Leave me lucky leave me,
Leave me lucky leave me la la la la la la la la la,
la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la.

Don't look at me that way just close your eyes,
be the one I'm seeing I can't make it on my own,
I'm not alone and if you go away you-ho.

Leave me lucky leave me lane,
this time will always stay the same
I'm still a fool above your flame.
Leave me lucky leave me,
Leave me lucky leave me lane.

\m/

Love is Liberty

2010-07-14T21:46:00.001+08:00

No one can possess a sunset like the one we saw that evening. Just as no one can possess an afternoon of rain beating against the window, or the serenity of a sleeping child, or the magical moment when the waves break on the rocks. No one can possess the beautiful things of this Earth, but we can know them and love them.

I will always remember now that love is liberty. I will always remember you and you will remember me, just as we will remember the evening, the rain on the windows, and all the things we will always have because we cannot possess them.

From Paulo Coelho’s Brida

Greatest Love

2010-07-10T14:00:00.002+08:00

If my love could keep you alive, you would have lived a hundred, but God's love is greater than mine. I bow to that and just keep your memories alive in my heart.

CONfused

2010-07-09T14:57:00.001+08:00

I'm confused. I guess I always am confused. Unsure of life, if I should live or perish. If I should stay happy or recognize the sadness in me. I always wanted to give up and find peace in the silence of my soul, but there are always some people who kind of ignite a spark of hope in me. But nothing lasts forever... only stardust in the universe.

IT IS

2010-07-08T14:35:00.001+08:00

I won’t ask WHY, or HOW or WHEN. You wouldn’t even know the answer, and either do I. It just simply IS.

Even to yourself, you might deny it, as I do. But I’m certain… it is what it is.

Changes in Life

2010-07-08T14:26:00.000+08:00

Change is the very nature of life, - welcome it. No glass ever became sand again; No bread ever became wheat; No ripened fruit ever became a flower. Welcome change, and choose what kind of glass you create, what kind of bread you bake, what kind of fruit you harvest.

Feeling Stupid

2010-07-07T13:55:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I just feel so stupid for trying to... get attention.

What’s worse is that the realization comes too late.

The Little Things...

2010-07-06T10:09:00.001+08:00

Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference.

~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Life as it is...

2010-06-30T10:04:00.004+08:00

For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

~Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Sunset at Chinese Garden, Singapore

Mixed Emotions

2010-06-27T15:07:00.001+08:00

Happy . Sad . Strong . Scared .

Rage

2010-06-23T09:57:00.001+08:00

I am my own worst enemy.

My Black and White Portrait

2010-06-20T16:01:00.001+08:00

"We wonder why black & white photos capture our soul. I think it’s because without color, we aren’t drawn to make-up, or the color of our eyes, or our hair, or how tan our skin is. Black & white captures the innocence on one’s face & their vulnerability. The glow comes from the inside, brightening our eyes, our skin, & smile. It grabs the truth, and that liberates us." –anon

Photograph taken by NWC.

iLike: Hey, Soul Sister

2010-06-20T14:53:00.001+08:00

As usual, I’m not really updated on the current songs these days, so excuse me if my current faves are not really current at all. :)

I like the beat of the song and the ukelele thing. Heyyyeyyy…

Hey, Soul Sister by Train

iLike: Diary & Stationery Books by Paulo Coelho

2010-06-18T20:44:00.001+08:00

This beautiful series of stationery books with quotes taken from Paulo Coelho's best-loved titles, as well as insights drawn from articles, previously unpublished works and vivid four-color artwork.

This line is marketed in 19 countries with more than 2.2 million copies sold to date since 2004.

INSPIRATION

A beautiful four-colour artwork calendar, which brings an emotion of great happiness throughout the year. (Agenda 2010)

Illustrated by Catalina Estrada

LOVE

Love is a vivid four-color artwork reveals Paulo Coelho's ideas, philosophies and extraordinary views on love.

Illustrated by Catalina Estrada

LIFE

A delightfully illustrated book to be savoured either little by little or at one sitting, an absolute must.

Illustrated by Anne Kristin Hagesæther

via Sant Jordi Asociados

Remembering my Fuschia Pants

2010-06-15T11:49:00.005+08:00

via lovekarlak

Growing up with my mom who makes a living out of fashion designing and dressmaking, I wear clothes that she creates for us. Back then I didn’t appreciate any of it at all (sorry nay)…

I remember the fuchsia pants that she made for me when I was 9. Since most of what we wear are made by my mom, we rarely buy clothes from department stores. So I had this longing to have a pair of long denim jeans. I told my mom that I badly wanted to have one for our field trip. My classmates were planning to wear those, and I wanted to it too… Instead, my mom made me fuchsia-colored pants, which I sadly wore to the field trip. I wasn’t really happy wearing it but I had no choice. My classmates asked me why I wore them..but my teachers sort of liked them. I felt a bit embarrassed because it was too fuchsia amidst the green scenery of the park and I’m always spotted by everyone. They asked me why I’m wearing those, and I just gave them a confused look. I didn’t realize up until now, that it was cute. I wish I could go back to that day and confidently wear those cute little fuchsia pants made by my mom. What made it look bad was my loss of confidence. If I had more confidence wearing them, then things would have turned up better.

Lesson learned#1: It’s not the clothes we actually wear that makes us look good, but the confidence we exude when we wear them. Feel good to look good!

Lesson learned#2: I have a very amazing mother who's very creative, talented, hardworking and most of all, very loving. I'm very proud to have her as my mom!

Pieces of Me this June

2010-06-14T18:20:00.002+08:00

via planetdan

I like to have a healthier diet starting this month! That means more fish, greens, vegetables and fruits - less fatty delights for me.

I don’t like my work schedule this month. I leave for work at 6:15 am, work in the office until 7:00pm and finally arrive home around 8:00pm. Stressful.

I want you to know that I’ve gained around 3-4kg here in Singapore… thus, the “healthy living” theme.

I’ve planned to buy 1Tb of external storage for my personal files: photos, digital artworks, music, and videos. I’ve also planned to prepare my own healthy lunch pack.

I want to say to someone special… I’m coming home soon, please wait for me. <3

Today is the greatest…

2010-06-13T11:29:00.001+08:00

Ask and it will be given to you… I’m praying and hoping to have everyday as the greatest day of my life… I may not be able to do everything but I can do something to make this day a great one! Happy Sunday and enjoy the 90’s music ! \m/

TODAY by Smashing Pumpkins

Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get out
I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face
Today is the greatest
Day I've never known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get out
Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings
Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you around
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you
Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known

Billy Corgan has struggled with depression for much of his life, including bouts of self-injury, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and suicidal thoughts.Corgan attributes this to the abuse he endured as a child, as well as his personal anxieties and issues.While he believes he is far more stable now, he still occasionally battles depression and has become an advocate for support networks. - Wikipedia

iLike: Pon & Zi

2010-06-09T00:45:00.003+08:00

I adore the artwork... and my heart is swayed by the sentimental thoughts/conversations in these works. *emo*

Do visit The Art of Jeff Thomas - the artist behind Pon and Zi.

iLike: SCANDAL - Taiyou To Kimi Ga Egaku Story

2010-06-06T10:49:00.001+08:00

SCANDAL - “The Most Powerful Japanese Girlie Pop Rock Band”

Japanese schoolgirls playing rock music – cool stuff! With Scandal, I appreciate beauty, fashion and music at the same time. They are a huge fan of Bleach (same as me), and they did an opening song for the anime.

The band is composed of four high school girls from Osaka, Japan: Haruna Ono, Tomomi Ogawa, Mami Sasazaki, and Rina Suzuki.

My favorite member is Mami! I like how she rocks with her guitar… I’m super inspired to practice more and play as good as she does.

MAMI – my fave!	RINA
TOMOMI	HARUNA
?	<----Ooopssss.. who says that there are 5 members in this band? Scandalous. I wore that schoolgirl thingy when I was in Tokyo - 2007. Peace :)

If you wish to know more about SCANDAL, visit their official website at: http://www.kitty.co.jp/scandal/

*Cheers*

iLike: K's Choice - Not An Addict

2010-06-04T22:15:00.002+08:00

Breathe it in and breathe it out and pass it on it's almost out...

Pink and Perky

2010-06-04T09:26:00.003+08:00

I am not a fan of pink (the color). My favorite color is turquoise blue/green. And yet I wonder why I like my blog to look pinky-winky like it is now. What’s worse is the contents of my walk-in-closet…it glows in pink! (T_T) Are these signs? I’m still in denial.

Anyway, I feel kind of perky today. Like I had some caffeine shots. A lot of things are gushing out of my imagination. I wish I could have more time to think and float and do what I want to do.

Photo taken at Tokyo, Japan

On Happiness...

2010-06-03T16:07:00.001+08:00

Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith. ~Paolo Coelho

Headache and Losing Focus

2010-06-03T10:50:00.007+08:00

I feel so tired today. It’s more of an emotional/mental than physical pain. I wish I could just disappear for a while and return when things are not this frustrating.

Photo taken at Chinese Garden, Singapore

Playing with HDR

2010-06-01T20:35:00.001+08:00

“...a lightning instant of give-and-take, just long enough for you to level the camera and to trap the fleeting prey in your little box.” ~HCB



What is HDR?

        High Dynamic Range Imaging (HDRI or just HDR) is a set of techniques that allow a greater dynamic range of luminances between the lightest and darkest areas of an image than standard digital imaging techniques or photographic methods. This wider dynamic range allows HDR images to more accurately represent the wide range of intensity levels found in real scenes, ranging from direct sunlight to faint starlight. –Wikipedia

Basic Concept

        Its main idea is: getting the best light from different exposures of the same scene. At least 3 exposures are good enough. In my case ( as seen below), I used –2 EV, 0 EV and +2 EV. Combine these three exposures, plus tone mapping, and you’ll get a good HDR.



       I think this is more of a subjective process because the resulting image will result from your personal judgment – by that I mean, how you adjust the photo details according to what you want. I think of it not only as photography but a form of ART. The resulting image shows how I see the scene, or even the world. (^_^)

Back to Photography

2010-05-29T13:26:00.007+08:00

For the past 6 months, I’ve been busy with my 12-hour work schedule (from Mon-Sat), leaving me super less time to explore my little hobby – playing with light. I went to Funan Mall yesterday and got to spend quite an amount for my D5000’s additional accessories (unplanned expenses). Darn resources are running low. It should motivate me a bit to use my cam again with those accessories... I figured out, I should have a goal so that I won’t regress! Can or Cannot? I surely can – I think I really can! (grin)

Anyway, here’s my plan:

*Since Nikon D5000 has Scene Modes, I guess it’s good to try all scenes and produce 1 best shot per scene.

*19 Scene Modes:

Portrait . Landscape . Child Portrait . Sports . Macro

Night Portrait . Night Landscape . Indoor Party . Beach/Snow . Sunset

Dusk/Dawn . Pet portrait . Candlelight . Blossom . Autumn colors

Food . Silhouette . High key . Low key

*Next would be to study each scene’s setting so that I would know how to set aperture, shutter speed, ISO, etc. – depending on shooting conditions.

*Then use P, A, S and/or M modes without relying in scene modes.

*Schedule: TBA… I still have to plan.

Some Links for Nikon D5000 Users:

Nikon D5000 Overview by Imaging Resource

Nikon D5000: Behind the Scenes from Nikon

Boredom Chronicles: Make-up

2010-05-27T16:17:00.001+08:00

This is something I did one boring afternoon at the office. :)

Materials: office supplies.

iLike: Breathing Underwater

2010-05-24T00:36:00.001+08:00

SCUBA diving is sensual. To breathe underwater is one of the most fascinating and peculiar sensations imaginable. Breathing becomes a rhythmic melody of inhalations and exhalations. The cracks and pops of fish and crustaceans harmonize with the rhythmic chiming of the bubbles as you exhale. Soon, lungs act as bellows, controlling your buoyancy as you achieve weightlessness. And, as in your dreams, you are flying. Combine these otherworldly stimuli and you surrender completely to the sanctuary of the underwater world. ~ TEC CLARK, forward, Karen Berger's Scuba Diving

Talicud Island, IGaCoS

Me and my DiveMaster (^_^)

Trying to practice underwater breathing… Yey, I’m good!

Before all the diving… oh why do I always pose with the peace sign? It bothers me….

Obsession Confession

2010-05-22T16:04:00.001+08:00

When I'm bored, I feel like I need to do something. I can't stay idle for a long time!

My hands search for something to touch, to hold.

My eyes are eager to see colors... various colors in contrast. Undying and mad. Staring back at me like stargazers do to the stars. I become alive.

My senses direct me and I let it all flow... the ink finds its way to the blank piece of white ruled paper and I'm out of control.

My soul is satiated...yet I long for more...

A Letter to No One #001

2010-05-21T21:49:00.001+08:00

I love silence.

All alone in my room, no sound of television or radio. No iPod playing. Just the bare silence of the room seems to become my sanctuary. Even the faintest of sound explodes like dynamite in my world’s absolute silence. I become sensitive to everything around me. I remember and forget things at the same time. I rejoice, I cry, I panic.

All in silence.

Queer.

Due to personal reasons, I decided not to post anything on my facebook status from now on. My silence is my light and my dark.

Contemplating on the Soul

2010-05-20T08:42:00.003+08:00

What does make up a soul?

Is it shapeless?

Formless?

It seems like it is virtually composed of nothing, yet it’s the entire essence of our being.

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for…

2010-05-16T13:57:00.001+08:00

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for…

Like ships, we must set sail and go on a journey through life. Never cling too much on your harbor; go out and see the world! We may get hurt, our hearts may get broken, and we may even suffer… but let not fear control you. Don’t be afraid of the raging seas or the storms that you might encounter for it is through these adventures that we realize our true value in life. It is though these journeys that we know ourselves – that we find ourselves.

It’s your choice: Corrode and slowly disintegrate on your harbor or fire up your engine and set sail? Our Captain will take care of us – thank God.

Harborfront, Singapore

I am an artist. My face is my canvass.

2010-05-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

I usually don’t feel complete if I leave home without my Kikay Kit. With my keys, wallet and mobile phone, I must have it anywhere I go!

What’s in my Kikay Kit:

1. URIAGE SPF50 Tinted Cream in Golden

2. Maybelline Pure Mineral Powder Foundation

3. Maybelline Pure Mineral Luminous Blush

4. Maybelline Pure Mineral Concealer

5. Maybelline Impact Express Smooth Pencil Eyeshadow

6. Maybelline Intense XXL Microfiber Mascara

7. IN2IT Gel Blush 8-hour Wear

8. MaxFactor Lipfinity

9. KATE Liquid Liner from Kanebo

10. KATE Eye Shadow from Kanebo

11. Chapstick Ultra Lip Protectant SPF30

12. Nichido Lash Curler

THE GREATEST ADVICE

2010-05-01T17:06:00.000+08:00

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.
Don't stagnate!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your
biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some
of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you
can be.
Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and
dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your
life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to
someone is your time.

Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is
T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or
provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
God is good all the time!

By Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven Life

Misery Loves Its Company

2010-04-22T00:02:00.002+08:00

I found this while going over some old files… a sketch from last year.
It’s one of my first tries drawing with my Wacom Bamboo Fun Graphic Tablet.

Histrionics by Popsicle

2010-04-21T01:01:00.001+08:00

Am I lucky or just too persistent to find this song again? I sooooo like Histrionics by Popsicle, taken from their 1995 Album, Abstinence.

Popsicle was a Swedish indie pop group active during the 90’s. For a while they were one of the most popular groups in Sweden and in 1995 they had a big hit with the song Not Forever. Popsicle split up 1999 but reunited in 2005 for a gig at a record store in Stockholm and a final concert at a bigger venue. -Last FM

Now I’m just going to have to shut up and let the song tell you a story. Enjoy listening, enjoy reminiscing the 90’s.

P.S. I’m not too old to care for this one.

Nelly Furtado - Say It Right

2010-04-18T20:56:00.001+08:00

I dig this one :)

ANALOG vs DIGITAL MIND

2010-04-18T18:59:00.001+08:00

I always thought I was analog... Like a sinusoidal wave with smooth repetitive oscillations… My feelings continuously flowing up, down, up… With intensity changing through time... But technology always asserts itself... Somehow I've become digital on my choices in life...

Now its either 1 or 0...

All or nothing.

MAN | WOMAN

2010-04-11T14:36:00.001+08:00

Funny because it’s true!

It’s not really easy being a woman…

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

2010-04-02T00:46:00.003+08:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles," 1992 (commonly misattributed to Nelson Mandela, 1994 inauguration speech)

Skipping Along my Favorite Colors

2010-03-28T14:23:00.001+08:00

“So tired of feeling blue… such a heavy weight on you… so shake it off and make your way to somewhere different … to somewhere different!”

I’m now listening to Skipalong by Lenka (press the 2nd PLAY button below). I wanted to create something abstract but didn’t quite know how to start. So I got my secret brush and dipped it into my secret palette of favorite colors… shades of green (to yellow) and a very flashy purple. Period!

Featured Buy MP3

Skipalong by Lenka
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More Lenka music on iLike

AQUARELLE: TRIAL PAINTINGS

2010-03-24T23:27:00.000+08:00

GREEN BIRDS ON SAKURA (2008)

KOI (2006)

FLEUR (2007)

ROSES (2008)

AT SEA (2006)

B.O.P. (2006)

A CAST OF LIGHT INTO MY SOUL

2010-03-21T17:43:00.001+08:00

When we truly forgive, we do not merely forget but we should ACCEPT the situation. Forgetting could be tricky because it is possible for our memory to flash images of the past, whether we like it or not. However, when we accept the situation, we recognize it as something that has happened. We may forget or remember it, but one thing is certain, we have learned a valuable lesson from it.

Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule. ~Lewis B. Smedes

PAINTING WITH PIXELS

2010-03-18T22:41:00.000+08:00

Some of my first works in Photoshop…

FLOWERS and ME

ヴィッキー

TOXICITY: The Ultimate Cure

ANALYSIS

2010-03-09T08:54:00.001+08:00

I am a philosopher by my own right.
I seek out answers to my mind’s curiosity.
I explore all dimensions I could ever reach.
I am open to every possible reason life could offer.

iLike: Lenka

2010-02-26T12:35:00.008+08:00

I must admit, I’ve shut myself away from music for a couple of years because I concentrated much on painting, taking photos and of course, work. Geez…now I feel like I’m the last person to know about Lenka’s music. But at least I’m not too late, right?.. After hearing her song The Show, I searched other songs by Lenka and I found myself loving them all! Trouble is a Friend and Skipalong are also my personal favorites.

What I like most about Lenka is her brilliant mix of music and art. Her album cover and all the illustrations associated to her are eye-candy material. It’s some sort of naïve-art, vintage craft style -thanks to her creative partner James Gulliver Hancock! I think of evolving into this kind of genre, soon. It’s inspirational. Oh Oh.

Lenka’s Official Website: http://www.lenkamusic.com/

THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE…

2010-02-25T18:57:00.001+08:00

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

(1 Corinthians 13)

BLOG HEADERS

2010-02-23T01:02:00.004+08:00

I’ve been using various headers for the past 2 months because I just can’t get enough of creating just one. Almost every week, I’m aching to make a new design.

Headers I Created:

PHOTO-JOGGING

2010-02-16T17:22:00.002+08:00

Sunday morning jogging at Chinese Garden, and I had with me my beloved cam! :) I think I’m going to make this a regular thing to do starting now.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. Happiness does not come from seeking new landscapes, but from having new eyes on the same life you've always been living.

Taking a little rest after…

Photos taken at Chinese Garden, Singapore.

V-day is Love Day

2010-02-14T19:10:00.001+08:00

Red roses are to Valentine's Day what kisses are to love; they make it that much sweeter.

We sure are lucky to celebrate V-day freely, compared to other countries which ban the celebration of this occassion.

In Saudi Arabia, florists and gift shops were banned from displaying/selling anything RED around the time of Valentine’s day. In India, group of zealous fundamentalists known as the Sri Rama Sene, has issued an odd edict to avoid Valentine celebrations. They will secure that there will be no love in the air on Feb. 14. Too bad.

As long as we have freedom to show our affection to our lovers, family and friends, today and everyday, let’s not hesitate to share our love.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. -Siddhartta